This is by no means an “end all be all” list of personality types; I’m sure that there are many others.  While the majority of characters who inhabit start-ups are positive people who do valuable work, there are, nonetheless, a few negative creeps out there in start-up land.  I’ve often referred to them as the “knee-biters” of the world.  These are the ones who are most apt to eventually post “anonymous” venom about formers employers on certain websites. 

So…without further ado, here is my list of the seven types of start-up personalities…you should avoid:

1.      Expense Check Entrepreneurs (ECE)

This is a term I’ve used for a few years, but it is always worthwhile to repeat yourself from time to time.  These people typically boast MBAs from top-flight school.  They use big words and cutting edge jargon.  They are part of the gadget culture elite.  Their heyday was 1995 to 2000, which coincided with the heyday of the venture capital/jackpot mentality boom years.  ECE do not start companies, they latch themselves to start ups (but still call themselves “founders”), and like a plague of Zebra Mussels, they tend multiply  -- they bring their buddies in -- when they find a food source: Expense checks.

ECE love the cache (and potential rewards) that comes with being an “entrepreneur.”  Let’s face it, saying “I’m an entrepreneur” is a great way to impress the chicks at parties.  The only problem is ECE do not have the stomach for the risks that are associated with truly being an entrepreneur.  In other words, they are only “entrepreneurs” so long as the $10,000 per month expense checks are de rigueur.   Once the going gets tough, when actual results are demanded, and once the expenses are reduced, these types immediately leave the entrepreneurial life behind.

Tagline: “I’m outta here” (emergency purposes only).

2.      Mt. Eruption

After dealing with a “Mt. Eruption,” a beleaguered former colleague mentioned, “it seems every company has one.”  As I thought about it, my former colleague was correct.  Just about every company I’ve worked for has had that one person who goes “nutso” at the slightest provocation.  They think nothing of yelling and screaming in front of others.  This personality type is especially dangerous if the person has managerial responsibility.  Mt. Eruption thinks nothing of it to dress down a subordinate in front of others. 

It becomes very difficult to work with this personality type because everyone has to walk on eggshells for fear of inadvertently offending this person – and of course – setting off an eruption.  A seemingly innocent little question will likely be rebuffed by a long-winded, “it is not my fault” response which will likely segue into an ad hominem attack on the question asker.  And naturally, if the question goes unasked, Mt. Eruption will eventually erupt over that fact.

This is a person who displays classic passive-aggressive tendencies.  After all, Mt. Eruption will not let you know when you’re making a minor error and politely suggest a way of avoiding the error.  Instead, life’s little “bumps in the road” are stored in the recess of the brain, and only after a sufficient stockpile is obtained, will the eruption occur.

Tagline: “FINE!  LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I REALLY THINK OF YOU AND YOUR STUPID IDEA, YOU #$@%&!!!”

3.      Gloomy Gus

Everything is a disaster.  Everything is wrong.  It will never work.  These are the hallmarks of the classic Gloomy Gus character.  Forget the optimist vs. pessimist dichotomy of “is the glass half full or half empty,” because with Gloomy Gus, the glass is always completely frigging empty. 

I’ve long believed that people can be divided into two camps: optimist and pessimist.  Gloomy Gus puts the typical pessimist to shame because even the typical pessimist has the dumb luck of having the occasional good day.  Gloomy Gus doesn’t merely have a perpetual rain cloud over his head, the rain cloud is actually a bus used (allegedly) by the Dave Mathews Band.

Tagline: “It’s raining, it’s pouring, it’s never been worse!”

4.      The Grasshopper

“Get paid, do no work,” is the mantra of the grasshopper.  As much as I wish I could lay claim to the discovery of this character, it is Dilbert Creator Scott Adams who created the best example of this character…Wally.

Calling this character grasshopper is a reference to the classic fable by Aesop.  Just like Aesop’s grasshopper, this character is known for doing nothing, producing nothing, and contributing nothing.  Come to work at nine, go home at five.  Put the minimum in (perhaps), and certainly do not contribute for any extra effort, ideas, thought, or planning.  Don’t even try. 

For the life of me I do not know how these people continue to get jobs.  I recall working with one grasshopper – a person who was paid considerably more than me for doing the same job, by the way – who simply and flat out replied “no” to anyone who asked anything of her.  Can you contribute an article?  Can you make a sales call?  Can you work on this marketing literature? Do you have any ideas?  No.  No.  No.  No.

Apparently I missed the class in college that dealt with developing a six-figure career for doing nothing.  She’s not the first, nor the only grasshopper I’ve dealt with, so I am convinced there are entrepreneurs who, when putting together their business plans, pencil in a few slots for people who do nothing.  Maybe they consider it a cost of doing business. 

Tagline: “I’m taking off early…do we get paid today?”

5.      Daffy the  “Visionary”

It’s one thing if you are actually a billionaire who has a rather Looney-Tunes approach to life and business.  It is another thing if you haven’t amounted to anything and you willfully ascribe the “crazy visionary” moniker to yourself.

It just doesn’t work that way, folks!

The basic difference between being considered eccentric and crazy is, of course, money.  If you are able to pay people gobs of money, and you engage in crazy (but mostly harmless) behavior, people will probably continue to work for you and simply call you eccentric.  If you have not had massive success, cannot pay people, and you engage in crazy (but mostly harmless) behavior, people will not work for you and they’ll simply call you crazy. 

I think some otherwise intelligent people have gotten off track because they mix up two separate things: wealth and eccentricity.  They forget one of my golden rules, “correlation does not equal causation.”  Just because one person is rich and crazy, does not mean acting crazy will make you rich.  

Tagline: “Hey!  Look at me!  I’m crazy!  Crazy as loon, I tell ya!”

6.      Das Kommandant

Otherwise known as the “Devotee of the 1950’s School of Dictatorial Management.”  These are people, typically executives or managers, who think so highly of themselves, that they actually think they are gods.  They seem to believe employees merely exist to serve them.  Worse, they actually think that grown adults like to be taken to task in front of others.  These creeps have no idea how to truly motivate intelligent adults. 

Over a decade ago while I was finishing my MBA, I wrote a thesis paper that utilized the research of Geert Hofstede.  Hofstede identified various culture differences between the US/Western Europe and Asia, including “power distance,” which is germane to this section.  Essentially, power distance is how employees think of their bosses.  In many Asian cultures, the boss is revered as an all knowing, all-powerful being.  A near deity.  As such, the power distance in Asia is very large.

In the US and Europe, employees might have respect for the boss, but they consider the boss to be merely a person, not a god.  The power distance in the US is very small. 

 Das Kommandant doesn’t seem to realize this, and certainly does not realize his tyrannical rants, dress downs, put downs, and, well, hissy fits, have the opposite effect on people.  Das Kommandant will drive away the talented and intelligent, and will soon have a domain of only mice. 

Tagline: “Who’s the boss?!  Me, me, me!  I am!  Don’t forget that, moron!”

7.      The Mouse

The Mouse comes and goes, and no one notices.  The Mouse takes a two-week vacation, and no one realized.  The Mouse makes a suggestion, but no one hears.  The Mouse obviously is the person without a backbone, afraid to stick up for him or herself, afraid of saying anything that might cause trouble.  Ironically, the Mouse often ends up working for Das Kommandant.  They form a weirdly symbiotic co-dependent relationship that usually travels down the path of stupidity, with Das Kommandant thinking everything is smooth sailing because no one is voicing any discontent, and the Mouse too afraid to point out any possible problems.  

Tagline (from someone else): “Oh, you still work here?”

 Worse than dealing with people who have one of the personality types is dealing with someone who has ordered the combination platter.  Das Kommandant may be bad, but when you combine it with Daffy The Visionary, look out!  Mt. Eruption is a terrifying thing to deal with, but imagine the horrors of discovering someone who you thought was a Mouse actually has a Mt. Eruption personality, too. 

We’ve all probably dealt with these types of people in our careers.  Perhaps some of us possess some of these traits.  If anyone has any funny or interesting stories about personality types, of if you have other examples of personality types, let me know.  Fire away!

My VC101 columns were published on ePrairie.com and written in the wake of Venture Capital 101, a self published ebook about venture capital.  Send me an email, bill@billsnow.com

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