August 31, 2004 -
The 7 Types of Start-Up
Characters…That You Should Avoid
by
Bill Snow
Based on many years of working
for and advising countless start-ups, I’ve compiled the following “seven types”
of entrepreneurial personalities you should avoid. If you spent any time
working for a start up, you’ve probably run across these personality types.
This is by no means an “end all
be all” list of personality types; I’m sure that there are many others. While
the majority of characters who inhabit start-ups are positive people who do
valuable work, there are, nonetheless, a few negative creeps out there in
start-up land. I’ve often referred to them as the “knee-biters” of the world.
These are the ones who are most apt to eventually post “anonymous” venom about
formers employers on certain websites.
So…without further ado, here is
my list of the seven types of start-up personalities…you should avoid:
1.
Expense
Check Entrepreneurs (ECE)
This is a term I’ve used for a
few years, but it is always worthwhile to repeat yourself from time to time.
These people typically boast MBAs from top-flight school. They use big words
and cutting edge jargon. They are part of the gadget culture elite. Their
heyday was 1995 to 2000, which coincided with the heyday of the venture
capital/jackpot mentality boom years. ECE do not start companies, they latch
themselves to start ups (but still call themselves “founders”), and like a
plague of Zebra Mussels, they tend multiply -- they bring their buddies in --
when they find a food source: Expense checks.
ECE love the cache (and
potential rewards) that comes with being an “entrepreneur.” Let’s face it,
saying “I’m an entrepreneur” is a great way to impress the chicks at parties.
The only problem is ECE do not have the stomach for the risks that are
associated with truly being an entrepreneur. In other words, they are only
“entrepreneurs” so long as the $10,000 per month expense checks are de
rigueur. Once the going gets tough, when actual results are demanded, and
once the expenses are reduced, these types immediately leave the entrepreneurial
life behind.
Tagline: “I’m outta here”
(emergency purposes only).
2.
Mt. Eruption
After dealing with a “Mt.
Eruption,” a beleaguered former colleague mentioned, “it seems every company has
one.” As I thought about it, my former colleague was correct. Just about every
company I’ve worked for has had that one person who goes “nutso” at the
slightest provocation. They think nothing of yelling and screaming in front of
others. This personality type is especially dangerous if the person has
managerial responsibility. Mt. Eruption thinks nothing of it to dress down a
subordinate in front of others.
It becomes very difficult
to work with this personality type because everyone has to walk on eggshells for
fear of inadvertently offending this person – and of course – setting off an
eruption. A seemingly innocent little question will likely be rebuffed by a
long-winded, “it is not my fault” response which will likely segue into an ad
hominem attack on the question asker. And naturally, if the question goes
unasked, Mt. Eruption will eventually erupt over that fact.
This is a person who displays
classic passive-aggressive tendencies. After all, Mt. Eruption will not let you
know when you’re making a minor error and politely suggest a way of avoiding the
error. Instead, life’s little “bumps in the road” are stored in the recess of
the brain, and only after a sufficient stockpile is obtained, will the eruption
occur.
Tagline: “FINE! LET ME
TELL YOU WHAT I REALLY THINK OF YOU AND YOUR STUPID IDEA, YOU #$@%&!!!”
3.
Gloomy Gus
Everything is a disaster.
Everything is wrong. It will never work. These are the hallmarks of the
classic Gloomy Gus character. Forget the optimist vs. pessimist dichotomy of
“is the glass half full or half empty,” because with Gloomy Gus, the glass is
always completely frigging empty.
I’ve long believed that
people can be divided into two camps: optimist and pessimist. Gloomy Gus puts
the typical pessimist to shame because even the typical pessimist has the dumb
luck of having the occasional good day. Gloomy Gus doesn’t merely have a
perpetual rain cloud over his head, the rain cloud is actually a bus used
(allegedly) by the
Dave Mathews Band.
Tagline: “It’s raining,
it’s pouring, it’s never been worse!”
4.
The
Grasshopper
“Get paid, do no work,” is
the mantra of the grasshopper. As much as I wish I could lay claim to the
discovery of this character, it is
Dilbert Creator Scott Adams who created the best example of this
character…Wally.
Calling this character
grasshopper is a reference to the classic fable by Aesop. Just like Aesop’s
grasshopper, this character is known for doing nothing, producing nothing, and
contributing nothing. Come to work at nine, go home at five. Put the minimum
in (perhaps), and certainly do not contribute for any extra effort, ideas,
thought, or planning. Don’t even try.
For the life of me I do
not know how these people continue to get jobs. I recall working with one
grasshopper – a person who was paid considerably more than me for doing the same
job, by the way – who simply and flat out replied “no” to anyone who asked
anything of her. Can you contribute an article? Can you make a sales call?
Can you work on this marketing literature? Do you have any ideas? No. No.
No. No.
Apparently I missed the
class in college that dealt with developing a six-figure career for doing
nothing. She’s not the first, nor the only grasshopper I’ve dealt with, so I am
convinced there are entrepreneurs who, when putting together their business
plans, pencil in a few slots for people who do nothing. Maybe they consider it
a cost of doing business.
Tagline: “I’m taking off
early…do we get paid today?”
5.
Daffy the
“Visionary”
It’s one thing if you are
actually a billionaire who has a rather Looney-Tunes approach to life and
business. It is another thing if you haven’t amounted to anything and you
willfully ascribe the “crazy visionary” moniker to yourself.
It just doesn’t work that
way, folks!
The basic difference
between being considered eccentric and crazy is, of course, money. If you are
able to pay people gobs of money, and you engage in crazy (but mostly harmless)
behavior, people will probably continue to work for you and simply call you
eccentric. If you have not had massive success, cannot pay people, and you
engage in crazy (but mostly harmless) behavior, people will not work for you and
they’ll simply call you crazy.
I think some otherwise
intelligent people have gotten off track because they mix up two separate
things: wealth and eccentricity. They forget one of my golden rules,
“correlation does not equal causation.” Just because one person is rich and
crazy, does not mean acting crazy will make you rich.
Tagline: “Hey! Look at
me! I’m crazy! Crazy as loon, I tell ya!”
6.
Das
Kommandant
Otherwise known as the
“Devotee of the 1950’s School of Dictatorial Management.” These are people,
typically executives or managers, who think so highly of themselves, that they
actually think they are gods. They seem to believe employees merely exist to
serve them. Worse, they actually think that grown adults like to be taken to
task in front of others. These creeps have no idea how to truly motivate
intelligent adults.
Over a decade ago while I
was finishing my MBA, I wrote a thesis paper that utilized the research of
Geert Hofstede. Hofstede identified various culture differences between the
US/Western Europe and Asia, including “power distance,” which is germane to this
section. Essentially, power distance is how employees think of their bosses.
In many Asian cultures, the boss is revered as an all knowing, all-powerful
being. A near deity. As such, the power distance in Asia is very large.
In the US and Europe,
employees might have respect for the boss, but they consider the boss to be
merely a person, not a god. The power distance in the US is very small.
Das Kommandant doesn’t
seem to realize this, and certainly does not realize his tyrannical rants, dress
downs, put downs, and, well, hissy fits, have the opposite effect on people.
Das Kommandant will drive away the talented and intelligent, and will soon have
a domain of only mice.
Tagline: “Who’s the
boss?! Me, me, me! I am! Don’t forget that, moron!”
7.
The Mouse
The Mouse comes and goes, and
no one notices. The Mouse takes a two-week vacation, and no one realized. The
Mouse makes a suggestion, but no one hears. The Mouse obviously is the person
without a backbone, afraid to stick up for him or herself, afraid of saying
anything that might cause trouble. Ironically, the Mouse often ends up working
for Das Kommandant. They form a weirdly symbiotic co-dependent relationship
that usually travels down the path of stupidity, with Das Kommandant thinking
everything is smooth sailing because no one is voicing any discontent, and the
Mouse too afraid to point out any possible problems.
Tagline (from someone
else): “Oh, you still work here?”
Worse than dealing with people
who have one of the personality types is dealing with someone who has ordered
the combination platter. Das Kommandant may be bad, but when you combine it
with Daffy The Visionary, look out! Mt. Eruption is a terrifying thing to deal
with, but imagine the horrors of discovering someone who you thought was a Mouse
actually has a Mt. Eruption personality, too.
We’ve all probably dealt
with these types of people in our careers. Perhaps some of us possess some of
these traits. If anyone has any funny or interesting stories about personality
types, of if you have other examples of personality types, let me know.
Fire away!
Has your company been profiled by Bill Snow? Send
an email to introduce your company:
bill@billsnow.com
About the author
Bill Snow runs this site. If you haven't figured that out yet, I can't
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