Please excuse the mass email, but this is urgent. Extremely urgent.

We have 4 Cubs tickets for the game tomorrow afternoon. Game time is 1:20 pm. That’s Thursday April 24 in case you’re reading this email a day late. And 2014, in case this email got stuck in your spam filter and you’re reading this email in some future year. If that’s the case, do we have flying cars yet?

Anyway, back to the tickets. Yeah. I know. The Cubs. April. Chicago. But the forecast says a high of 62 degrees, that’s Fahrenheit for you Luddite fans of old-style measurements or 16.67 degrees Celsius for you hipster metric types. So the weather should be pretty good and just in case the game is interrupted by rain, the seats are protected by the grandstand. You’ll stay dry while the suckers with “better” tickets get soaked.

The other challenge we face is my entire office is at a limited partners powwow. This means I am alone today and I have no administrative help. My first thought was to have a kegger. But I decided against that because keggers get messy and I’d have to clean up. So instead, I’ve decided to give away baseball tickets. Since I don’t have anyone to arrange safe passage of the tickets – I’ll have to hand deliver them to you.  Alternatively, if you have a young charge in your employ seeking to earn brownie points, you can send your lackey to pick them up.