World Series 2016 Ramblings

“The Cubs are chokers. Always have been, always will be.”

Next year, baby!

“The Flubs will never win the World Series. I don’t know how you can support a team that hasn’t won a championship in eons.”

C’mon, give it a rest. I grow weary of your childish comments.

“The Cubs suck. 1969, 1984, 2003…you’ll always blow it!”

Love your team more than you hate ours.

“Bartman, Bartman, Bartman, goat! Ha ha!”

C’mon, leave the guy alone.

“Okay, the Cubs obviously have a good team this year. But the team with the best record doesn’t often win the World Series, especially in recent years with the expanded playoff format. The Cubs will lose. They always lose.”


“The Cubs struggle against top flight pitching. You have no chance.”

That’s a specious argument. Name a team that doesn’t struggle against top flight pitching. Besides, the Cubs have great pitching, too. Lead the league in ERA. Four Cubs starters were among the top twelve in National League ERA, including two who finished first and second in ERA. Perhaps the other teams will struggle against the Cubs’ pitching.

“Cubs have no chance in a short series against Bumgarner and Cueto.”

Well, they are great pitchers, but…

“Okay, fine, the Cubs won the Giants series, but you almost lost! The Cubs needed four runs in the ninth, otherwise they would have lost. The Giants only lost because they have Samardzija…an ex-Cub. He tainted the Giants with Cubbiness.”

Whatever. And “almost lost? “[mutters under breath] Are you kidding me? They beat the Giants three games to one! “Almost lost,” what is that, some sort of new Sabermetrics stat? Anyway, that four run rally is the sign of a championship, “never say die,” team.

“No matter, you have no chance to beat the Dodgers and Kershaw. I’ll see your pitcher who has one, piddling Cy Young award and raise you a stud pitcher who has three Cy Young awards! Dodgers in six, Dodgers in six!”

I like our chances.

“The Cubs are choking, just like I knew they would! The Flubs just got shut out in two straight games and now trail two games to one. The Flubs are paper tigers. Like a golfer who can hit big drives but can’t putt. Like I said, they had no chance. They always choke.”

“Well, the series is seven games…”

“No matter, you have to go through Kershaw, and you’ve shown you can’t hit him. He’s the best pitcher in the league.”

“Our pitcher, Hendricks, is no slouch, either. Lead baseball in ERA. And Kershaw only beat the Cubs one to nothing. Not as if L.A. lit up Cubs pitching.”

“Okay, big deal, the Cubs beat the Dodgers, and uh, they put a beat down on Kershaw. They, uh, got lucky. That’s all. But now you have to face the real best pitcher in the league, Corey Kluber, three times in a seven game series. And the Indians will bring in Miller to eat up innings. The Cubs won’t get a hit! The Cubs will find a way to blow it. They always do.”

Sure, Kluber is a great pitcher and Miller has been amazing, but the Cubs have great pitching, too, and the Cubs are deeper. I suspect Cleveland will go to the well one too many times with Kluber and Miller.

“As predicted! The Cubs are now down three games to one and you’ve been shut out twice! The Cleveland police department just issued an A.P.B. for Cubs’ pitching. Ha ha! The Cubs won’t score again. The Cubs will never win the World Series!”

Well, we just won game five at Wrigley, extending the series to game six and a return to Cleveland. I like our chances. The Cubs have been a good road team this year and…

“Big deal, you needed your best pitcher to beat the Indians’ worst pitcher by only one run. Don’t you understand it, don’t you see?  The Cubs will tease you by getting close then they’ll screw up in the most unbelievable way, and they’ll do it on the biggest stage. This is going to be great! Arrieta is due for a meltdown, he won’t get past the second inning!”

The Cubs just won game six, Arrieta was great and Cubs’ bats put a beat down on the Indians.

“Who cares, this just sets the stage for an even bigger collapse. You know its coming!’

No, I think this year will be different.

“No way, you are facing Kluber again. He’s completely shut down the Cubs in his previous two games. Then the Indians will bring in Miller, who the Cubs can’t hit, and then…game, set, and match. All over. Start crying, the Cubs are going to blow it!”

That’s why they play the game. We’ll see.

“Ah ha! As predicted, the Cubs are blowing it. Your superhuman reliever, Chapman, just gave up a game tying home run in the bottom of the eighth. Looks like the Cubs are the ones who went to the well too often! You have no chance! Cleveland Indians, 2016 World Series Champs, get used to saying that! I can’t wait to order a coffee mug and hat!”

I think you’re going to have to cancel that order, Cubs just took a two run lead in the top of the tenth!

“No matter, Cubs will blow this. See, they just gave up one run. Cleveland is now down by only one, and they have a man on base. Just a matter of time. You watch and see. The Flubs always blow it. Just a matter of time before…”

The Cubs win the World Series! The Cubs win the World Series!